Equality: The Quest for the Happy Marriage Blog

If you want to know why we have a 50% divorce rate you need to look no further than the “logic” used by the professionals. And I have a wonderful example for you. Below you will read a comment that someone actually posted to a blog interview I hosted. To see the full blog interview please visit the following link:

authorkellymoran.blogspot.com/2009/03/kelly-interviews-author-tim-kellis.html

I also want to let you know that there is a 20% discount on my relationship book “Equality: The Quest for the Happy Marriage”.

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Bob Snider said…

I wish I had had the opportunity to read your book before posting a comment here. I think that we may disagree on possibly many points. Since I have not read your book, I am not sure what your total approach to the concept of “equality” is, however, as you can see from the following excerpt from my chapter on “Men & Women,” we probably disagree.“Let’s take a look at a phrase that has caused a lot of changes in our society. The simple phrase “men and women are equal” or phrases like it carry a lot of emotional weight, but what does this phrase really mean?

Let’s remove some of the emotional charge from this phrase so we can examine it better. By using the word bananas in place of the word men and replacing women with the word peaches, we have the statement “bananas and peaches are equal.”

Now, if I place a banana and a peach in front of you and say, “This banana and this peach are equal.”

What is your reaction?
Well, first the statement doesn’t make a lot of sense. What do you mean by equal? They are different, how can they be equal? How are you defining the term equal so that they can be considered equal?

My response is, why should the statement “men and women are equal,” be considered a logical statement full of reason when the statement, “bananas and peaches are equal,” has no reason or logic? The fact is that men and women are different just like the bananas and peaches and the term equal makes no sense at all.”

I want to encourage you in challenging the establishment. With a 50% divorce rate, somebody is doing something wrong. I suspect that your book will provide comfort to a lot of the people that read it.

Bob Snider

Tim Kellis said…

Bob I got a real good chuckle when I first read your post, but then realized the unfortunate reality of what the message that men and women are not equal, that they are different.

Unfortunately, my friend, I have to give you a few historical facts that unfortunately completely refutes your stance.

First, the concept that we as a nation used to continue to keep our African Americans unequal to us caucasians after the end of the civil war was referred to as “separate but equal”. The sad thing about your logic was at least this concept tried to logically establish racial equality, but your comment that men and women cannot be equal doesn’t even give each gender the benefit of a doubt.

The unfortunate reality is that if you try to promote any concept that does not balance the perspective of others then you will continue our long-established patriarchal society system of beliefs.

You cannot balance the relationship unless you balance the perspective of each, what we have learned from our democratic way of life. If you try to keep the genders separate then you cannot find equality, or balance in the relationship.

And just to explain my notion of equality. Mentally speaking, we all experience two sensations, thoughts and feelings. If each in the relationship do not have access to both then it becomes impossible for each to be able to relate to the other, and find balance in the relationship.

I must admit, though, the analogy of men and women with bananas and peaches is about as ridiculous as trying to extrapolate the behaviors of mice and monkeys to determine the behavior of humans.

Thank you for your comments. Unfortunately you are simply promoting the same prejudices as the rest of the psychology industry, as demonstrated by the ridiculous belief that men and women are from different planets. Last time I checked we were both from earth.

Sincerely
Tim

13 March, 2009

Now there you have it, advice at its finest. Thanks for reading.

Tim Kellis

HappyRelationships.com

HappyMarriages.com

20% Discount on Book